I am sharing this in the hope that I can spare you the mental anguish that consumed and almost destroy me and how I found few of these Buddha's quote that help free me.
Below it my very personal and private bout with hatred for my neighbor that was trying to take advantage of our ignorance about property easement and want to bury his gas line in my property disguise as the gas company's gas line upgrade program in the neighborhood. The slick more put me on a battle and revenge path, that cause me excessive mental stress. From that I undergo two root canal surgeries, Emergency Room care -Insomnia, panic attack, under mental stress observation for potential self-harm, homicide and suicidal thought. and how I free myself from the grasp of hatred.
Below each of these Buddha's Quote is a short excerpt of my journey through mental destruction that's engulf with hatred and revenge.
If you want to learn more, I have assemble additional information in the Pain and Suffering's page when the Enlighten Buddha revelations about pain and sufferings in the Four Noble Truths and using the Noble Eight Fold Path as a guide to cessation of pain and sufferings.
Amituofo!
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
I want to share with you my experience battling overwhelming anger toward my neighbor. He attempted to sneak a gas line easement onto my property for his backup generator, and that anger consumed me for months. I became obsessed with understanding how gas lines were laid and the intricacies of land easements. I even became an expert of sorts, creating detailed drawings of the gas line layout in our neighborhood. When I presented my findings to the District/Province Board of Supervisors, they immediately involved the NPL District Director and County Zoning Inspector. We had an on-site meeting, and thankfully, they rescinded the easement on my property and resumed the work on my neighbor's land.
But during that time, the anger took a serious toll on me. I had two root canal surgeries because I was subconsciously clenching and grinding my teeth in my sleep. I couldn’t even look at my neighbor’s property without sinking into a deep rage, to the point that I had to block my windows just to avoid seeing it. The stress and overthinking led to insomnia, and despite trying everything, I couldn’t turn my mind off. Eventually, my doctor prescribed sleeping pills. A few days later, I found myself paralyzed in bed, crying uncontrollably. My wife had to call 911.
As the EMTs pulled me from bed and painfully poked my chest to keep me awake, I realized I was suffering from a severe panic and anxiety attack that landed me in the ER. For over eight hours, a psychologist and social worker probed me about potential self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and even whether I was planning to take revenge on my neighbor. That moment made me realize how deeply I had sunk into my anger.
Reflecting on this episode, I’m reminded of the truth in Buddha’s words: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." And another quote: "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
Reflecting on this episode, I’m reminded of the truth in Buddha’s words: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." And another quote: "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
I desperately wanted to punish my neighbor legally. I even consulted a lawyer about filing an Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED) lawsuit against the gas company, its contractor, Miss Utility, and my neighbor. But I learned that it would cost me $30,000 to $40,000 to recover only $15,000 in medical expenses, with no guarantee of winning. Disappointed and resigned, I believed I could no longer live in peace in my own home. My mind became obsessed with revenge and payback.
Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free. The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.
Then, one day, feeling utterly fed up and at the end of my rope, I came across another Buddhist teaching about letting go. At first, I found it impossible. But one afternoon, while mowing my lawn, my neighbor happened to come home. Almost without thinking, I said, “Hi.” And in that moment, the weight of hatred lifted off my shoulders. I felt enlightened, as though I had finally seen the light and freed myself from the anger that had imprisoned me. I never imagined that a simple “Hi” to the person I once hated most could free me from all my suffering.